*Walk By Faith, I Still Believe*

I happen to rumaging through some old songs and happened across these song by Jeremy Camp from a few years ago. They came into my life at a time, when I was wrestling with God. Wrestling with my call to Ministry, at the time it was the last "occupation" I would have ever thought for myself. Back 6-10 years ago, I was probably the last person who should ever be telling people about Jesus. I was bitter and angry at the world. I hated everything and everyone, but then begrudgedly on a cold January day in 1999 I went to church. I hated church and God, and was so tired of the "lies" and "desceptions" perpretrated by teh church, all the wanted was my money, my soul be damned, that what I thought they thought. That day you can use all the termanology and cliches you want, but that day I met Jesus. Standing right there in that church, as a man told us how he found Christ, suddenly I began to weep. This man's story was nothing like mine, yet they were the same story. Would I believe you when you would say Your hand will guide my every way. Will I receive the words You say Every moment of every day? Well I will walk by faith Even when I cannot see Well because this broken road Prepares Your will for me. Help me to win my endless fears You've been so faithful for all my years. With one breath You make me new Your grace covers all. Well I'm broken, but I still see Your face Well You've spoken, pouring Your words of grace I will walk by faith!

That day I cut through all the bull and nonsense we humans add to God, and walked straight up to Jesus. He dumped himself on me, covering me, drowning me in the thick red rich blood, so perfect God could not reject it. That day all I knew was God was real, and I needed to know how to get to him. As a youngster I remember walking home and speaking it out loud, "you don't want to be a preacher!" Being so taken aback that I would be stopped in my tracks, shocked at teh word I just spoke. Alway chalking it up to imagination I contiued on up to that day in Wal-Mart, when I finally got tired of fighting it. All that time I still belived, those scattered words and empty thoughts seem to pour from my heart. I've never felt so torn before Seems i dont know where to start But its now, that i feel your grace fall like rain From every fingertip washing away my pain I still believe in your faithfulness I still believe in your truth I still believe in your holy word Even when I dont see I still believe.

Though the questions still fog up my mind With promises i still seem to bear. Even when answers slowly unwind It's my heart I see you prepare. The only place I can go is into your arms Where I throw to you my feeble prayers in brokeness I can see that this is your will for me Help me to know you are near.